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Thursday, 8th January 2009

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Bell crimes on buses



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Published Date: 24 January 2008
Here are the bell-related crimes one must avoid as a passenger.

(1) The 'multiple bell ring', favoured by 5 year-olds and bored teenage boys. Guaranteed to irritate the driver beyond all measure.

(2) The 'late bell ring', in which the bell is pressed 10 yards before the stop, when the bus is travelling at spee
d.

Have you seen the stopping distances for a bus?

(3) A subtle, but devastating crime, the 'ambiguous bell ring', pressed when the bus is 3 feet past a stop. Was it a really late bell ring, or was it a ridiculously premature one?

Long shouted conversations between driver and passenger follow.

Here are the bell-related crimes one must avoid as a bus company:

(1) Making the bells so quiet it's not clear to the passenger whether it has actually been pressed, resulting in a second press just to make sure, and possibly a third, until one ends up in a vortex of multiple bell-ringing hell.

Solution: have one of those nice boxes on display that illuminates the words STOPPING when the bell is rung. Oh, those boxes are lovely.

(2) Having such widely spaced bells that as a passenger you have to do a wobbly walk of death, while the bus is rounding a corner, to find one. Solution: more bells please

(3) Having a bad driving day, and even though the STOPPING sign is illuminated, and even though that nice little stopping light on the dashboard is illuminated, sailing past the bus stop while deep in thought about England's (minimal) chances against Croatia.

This usually produces a series of shrieks of outrage from one or more of the passengers, and complicated negotiations about the nearest safe place to stop.

It is much to the credit of our drivers that it happens so rarely.

Here is the bell sound I miss, terribly:

The conductor's double ring indicating to the driver it is safe to move off.

Ah, nostalgia.





The full article contains 331 words and appears in n/a newspaper.
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  • Last Updated: 07 July 2008 12:33 PM
  • Source: n/a
  • Location: Hemel Hempstead
 
 

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